You Can't Go Home Again
by Shini02
Summary: Beast Wars fic. Oneshot. A little AU but not really. Comes after my fic 'Moonstruck'. Back on Cybertron, Rattrap finds that things just aren't the same anymore. Implied RattrapxDinobot.


**Disclaimer:** I don't own Beast Wars or any of its characters, but I do own my nameless OC motorcycle.

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**You Can't Go Home Again**

"Here you go," she giggles and sets the mug o' fluid down in front o' me. I reach for it an' she puts her hand on mine.

I stare at her. She's a pretty young waitress, a motorcycle by the looks o' it, red and white with a pair o' bright blue optics. She's also walkin' around the bar without her torso plate on, showin' off everything but her spark. I smirk; s'good t'know this place is as sleazy as ever, hasn't change one bit since I left.

"Thanks," I say an' pull my hand out from under hers, takin' my drink and pullin' it close t'me. And she sits herself down in the empty seat across from me, smilin' like a fool. Yeah, you keep battin' those baby blues my way, babe. Is it too late to tell ya that won't getcha anywhere?

"It's on the house for a war hero like yourself," she says, folding her hands together and resting her elbows on the flimsy steel table, she puts her chin against her bent wrists.

Keep fishin', compliments aren't gonna getcha anywhere any faster than that look in your optics. "War hero, huh?" I snicker and look into the murky fluid in the mug. I ain't a hero.

"Duh," she chuckles and rolls her optics at me as I look back up at her. Oh, sorry for not thinkin' too highly o' myself, I'll let ya do it for me. You're pretty good at it.

"So," she says quietly and lets her arms fall onto the table.

"So what?" I reply, raisin' my brow. What does she expect from me? A conversation? Heh, if she woulda been here years ago, I woulda given her more than a good talkin' to but now this tramp ain't worth my time.

She starts playin' her slim black fingers against the tabletop. "So... What was it like, exploring and then fighting a war on a primitive planet?"

I rest one elbow on the table and put my chin in my palm, givin' her this blank look. "Oh, it was a blast. I'd do it all over again if I could." And she laughs.

"The older femmes told me you had quite the mouth on you, and the quick wits to match," she giggles and reaches for my hand again. I pick up my drink before she can pry my free hand from the thick glass mug.

"Aw, I'm touched. They remembered me," I mumble onto the glass rim against my lips before takin' a swig. The fluid feels like liquid fire on it's way down; this place's still got the dirtiest fluid around.

The young femme's optics dim as her white cheeks turn a shade of pink. "They said you're rather hard to forget."

There ya go fishin' again'. Kid, I ain't even gonna give ya time t'catch and release, just give it up already. I ain't interested in playin' around right now, what part o' that don't you get?

"I'll have t'thank 'em for the kind words," I say and look around the bar and then I look back at her, ignorin' the way her eyes are wanderin' again.

"Don't you got work t'do or somethin'?"

She smirks and shakes head. "I'm on break now," her smirk turns into a little smile, a smile she shouldn't be usin' on a mech like me. "I thought we could talk for a bit," she shrugs.

I fight the urge to just let my head hit the table and shout at her to go away. Instead, I fix her with that dull stare again. "Talk? Talk 'bout what?"

She shrugs again and starts playin' with her hands, lookin' down at her lap. Keep your mouth shut all ya want, I ain't gonna play the guessin' game with ya and I sure as the Inferno ain't gonna strike up a conversation. I don't even wanna talk to ya right now, kid. For cryin' out loud, stop wastin' your time an' mine and just frag off.

I look at the fluid in the mug again. Man, what I wouldn't give for some decent company right 'bout now. Spots' is off with Optimus, too busy t'go slummin' with a friend; Bird-Dog and Legs are gone off t'do whatever it is young lovers do now-a-days; Rhinox's never been the drinkin' type so I didn't bother askin' him to tag along. So that leaves ol' Rattrap t'fend for himself an' have a good time in a sleazy bar full o' femmes with no torso plates servin' dirty fluid t'mechs who got nothin' better t'do with their lives. Heh, on that note, it's like I never left Cybertron.

'Cept I ain't havin' a good time. I ain't even drunk yet.

Not too long ago, I ranted 'bout how I was gonna take Spots an' Stripes an' Bird-Dog t' this place, I think I even offered t' bring ol' Lizard Lips; I was gonna show 'em all a good time in a bad part o' town. I never thought the pussycat would find somethin' better t'do than look at pretty femmes. I never thought 'Bolt'd get the girl o' his dreams an' live happily ever after. I never thought Stripes would be one o' the ones to get taken outta the picture. I was sure Dinobutt wasn't gonna die, either. I was so sure o' that; he made himself out to be so invincible, such a hero, an' then he went an' got himself killed 'cause he thought he owed us all that much.

An' that's the part that fraggin' hurts most. He never owed us anythin', no matter how many times I ran my mouth, sayin' he couldn't be trusted. We always knew where he stood an' he was stupid not to realize that.

I take another swig o' my drink and give leavin' this broad to sit here like a fool. This place hasn't changed but it ain't what it used t'be; it doesn't have what I need anymore. What I need's too far outta my reach, so in reality I need open spaces an' stars. Stargazin' became a habit back on that dirt ball, it used t'be my way o' missin' that stupid saurian without too many bots catchin' on t'what I was doin' or feelin'. And I didn't want it any other way.

There's just one problem now: Cybertron don't have any open skies and stars, so I can't miss him the way I used to. I'm stuck doin' it the old fashioned way, just wishin' he was here.

"Um," the femme suddenly mumbles. Slag.

"Whatta ya want?" I reply and take down the last o' the fluid, wincing as it burns on it's way down again.

"Are you..., um, that is–"

"Am I what?" Primus, just spit it out.

"Are you waiting for someone?" She asks, that pink tint returning to her cheeks. I laugh.

"Am I waitin' for someone?" I echo her question and grin at her. I haven't wasted my time waitin' on another mech in millions o' years.

"Nope," I tell her, that grin still on my lips. "Got no reason to," I stand myself up, sidestep and push the chair in.

Her optics brighten, I know where this is goin'. She stands up and walks over to me, smiling widely at me. I hate that smile o' hers. "In that case, when I get off, do you think I can meet you somewhere? If that's ok with you, I mean."

I fist one hand on my hip and place a hand on her shoulder, purposely brushin' against some circuits I bet no mech's ever touched before. "No," I tell her and pull my hand back when I notice the blush on her cheeks again.

She frowns. "Why not?" She asks, her voice cracking expertly in that dramatic way femmes use t'guilt us.

Ah, she wouldn't understand if I told her. Not that I'd tell a complete stranger how I feel 'bout someone they could care less about. Slag, I wouldn't even tell Big Green 'bout how I'm feelin' and what I do t'pass the time. Some things, like whatever it is I feel whenever I think o' that stupid raptor, just aren't meant to be shared with the mechs around ya, no matter who they are. It's best t'keep those kinds o' things t'yaself; I had t'learn that the hard way a long time ago.

"I got someone t'see," I tell her with a wicked grin, turning on my heel and walkin' away without even givin' her a second look. I hear her stomp off, usin' curse words I never thought someone her age would know.

If only she knew I didn't really have anyone t'see an' I was just goin' home to my bunker t'recharge an' dream o' someone that shouldn't matter anymore 'cause dreams are all I got now. S'not my fault the good times ain't as good as they used t'be, all 'cause some stupid ex-Pred decided t'kick the bucket and leave me high and dry t'wallow in what little sorrow I got t'call my own.

I grin to myself as I head off into the crowds o' downtown, realizin' things ain't so bad after all – ol' Dinobutt's still ruinin' my good moods.

-End


End file.
